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[icon] One Angry Dwarf
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Time:05:10 pm
"Hi dear, how are you?"

"Good."

[pause]

"Where are your shoes?"

"Who needs shoes?"

"You're gonna cut your feet!"

"Don't worry about it."

And that details the story of the advice I received today from my former high school lunchlady.
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Subject:i am absolute luggage
Time:07:52 pm
My ass reads "dicks go here," in sharpie, with two arrows pointing into my asshole, following the highway ride home from the frisbee tournament in Ken's van.
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Time:07:26 pm
Today I saw a mallard and a female duck, presumably his wife, hanging out in my pool. I threw them some bread, but they left after a while.

Maybe they'll make it their home.
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Time:08:08 pm
Today I walked by a dog and barked at it, as I normally do, and it barked back. It was probably saying something like "Hey, you're a dog, come over here, let's party." I'll never know though, I don't speak dog.


R.I.P. Jama Joyce
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Subject:Today at Work
Time:09:46 pm
I was standing in line for foursquare when I caught the scent of a familiar flatulent odor. I turned around to the third grader behind me in line and said:

"Jasmine, did you fart?"

"You did," she said immediately.

"Uhh, what makes you say that?"

"I heard."

I paused, smiled, and said "Hey, you're all right."
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Time:06:35 pm
Y'know what I think is an under-used phrase?

"gum up the works"
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Time:07:29 pm
I think Alex Trebek should re-grow the 'stache.
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Subject:got my comeuppance
Time:08:34 pm
Today at the bowling alley, there was a large group of mentally retarded people a few lanes down from us. I guess they were on some kind of outing from their home that they live in, but I don't know how that whole system works.

So anyway, I got a strike and did a handstand and fell to the floor when I couldn't execute my textbook hand-pivot and feet landing, and one of them died laughing at me.
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Subject:outside is pretty
Time:10:58 pm
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Time:01:16 pm
So far I've been accepted to Northeastern and UVM... am I the man or what?

The answer is no, I am not.

However, if you are looking for the man, you need not look any further.

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[icon] One Angry Dwarf
View:Recent Entries.
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